It has been some time since I sat down and just wrote a stream of consciousness piece. I’ve been feeling in a writing mood, so let’s just see what happens…
I have been so fixated on the here and now. I think it’s a real culmination of a lot of things going on with me at the moment. First and foremost, the last year of my life has been a complete whirlwind. If there was ever a model for turning your life upside down and around, I’d say I have a pretty good case to be the poster child. The me you see today is a me that existed at this time last year, but repressed, clawing to the surface and screaming to be saved. I was experiencing the most insane emergence of self I have ever known. The saddest part is, I don’t even know how long the me that is me was gone? I’d fallen into this sort of haze, forgetting to honor my true nature. I had lost myself in someone else, in some other reality that didn’t quite align with who I am and when the water boiled, I got out.
As soon as I gave myself the personal space to heal, to reflect, to resuscitate the large part of me that lay dormant deep down, my world broke wide open. I am an artist. It has always been there. It has always been a part of me. It is who I am. I am a curious soul and an expressive one at that. I crave life experiences and I love sharing them creatively. I look at what I fill my time with these days and it is all stuff I am really, really passionate about. On top of that, I’ve given myself the freedom to dive into my diverse interests and I feel myself constantly growing every day, opening up to a much broader experience of the world around me. As this perspective grows, so does my intimacy with the moment. The truth is life is much too short, far too fleeting and our personal energy too precious for it to be directed at anything that doesn’t charge us up with life energy in return.
You see, the craft of acting has taught me a great deal about life and living in the moment. In a scene, like life, there is a natural give and take of energy and emotion. Gifting your scene partner with your full attention and an open heart will elicit a very real, intimate exchange of energy. The experience is euphoric. This is what the acting bug is to me. It gives you a real invigorating charge whether the scene is happy, sad, comedic, dramatic, emotional or playful. No matter what, if you are present, you come away with that same bristling energy that is tough to describe, but easily recognized. This is the way life is meant to be lived, open to the natural give and take of energy between ourselves and the world around us. Present. Here. Now. No distractions. Immersed in the passions and energy of the moment. That is what it feels like to be alive.
There is so much beauty simply in the moment. It doesn’t take much to experience truth. Truth is in the simple, it is in every present moment of now. It’s our job to recognize it. Then we must embrace it.
-JMB
