…the path to truth, you can never turn back. At least I don’t see how you can. I hope someone else out there can relate to this experience, but I feel like once I began the journey towards exploring the great mysteries that lay within us and outside of us, I was catapulted into some other realm of being that makes it impossible to ignore the perpetual calling of understanding this existence. I don’t know how to turn it off. Not that I want to, but it definitely doesn’t just go away. It has become so much a part of who I am that I have a hard time figuring out why anyone wouldn’t want to at least try dipping their toe in the waters of expanding awareness.
I guess I sort of get it though. It’s not easy to be honest with ourselves. It’s not easy to acknowledge there are things we don’t know about the world. I get that it takes a certain amount of energy to learn, to reflect, to experience and be open to growth. With awareness I feel comes a responsibility that is difficult to come to grips with at times. As I continually deconstruct who I am, analyzing my perspective and my experiences, I have no choice but to take responsibility for my own life. There is a quote from Jesus in the Gospel of Thomas, “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” … WOW …
This is a really powerful teaching on self-awareness. To me it is about that deep inner journey we must all embark on to know ourselves so that we can be free or in the words of Jesus “saved” (from ourselves essentially). When inner work is not done, when there are things about ourselves we do not or will not acknowledge, these traits, characteristics, habits and beliefs can manifest in our lives as turmoil. These are the icky parts of us we struggle to gain perspective on because we don’t take the time to honestly look at ourselves. Now, all these same beliefs, characteristics, etc can manifest as good fortune as well, it just depends on what level we’re operating on. With little to no honest self-awareness we might say, “Why does this always happen to me!?” Listen, things happen! Life happens! We’re flying around at 100mph trying to live and do our thing. BUT, if we notice a pattern of events or experiences, “good” or “bad” repeating themselves, we have to look at the role we’re playing in bringing forth this experience. A great friend of mine once shared a wonderfully simple, but impactful quote. He said, “Wherever you go, there you are”. Bingo! There’s no escaping ourselves! No matter what our environment is, our “world”, however big or small, we are just as much a force of causation on the world as or environment appears to be on us.
It is far too easy to walk the path of the victim and relinquish control of our lives to the wild and chaotic world of cause and effect in which we are acted upon by forces outside ourselves. This requires no awareness, no personal choice, no freedom…just show up for life and be affected. What if…instead of thinking of ourselves as the result of a cause and effect world enacted upon us, we took the position of causation and enacted ourselves upon the world? Or that the world is in fact a reflection of who WE are? Isn’t this much more empowering? Could it be that what we bring forth from within us has the ability to transform our entire experience? Isn’t this what it means to be free? And once we get even the slightest sense of having the ability to choose in our life…to be free…at what point will curiosity just take over and inspire us to ask ourselves, “Just how much potential do I really have to transform my life?” Think about it…
-JMB
